he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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