Dual....:-)
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
