Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
