I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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