After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
