yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
