too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Mom said you looked used
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
