if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
