There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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