I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Less talking, more tequila
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
