I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
