are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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