i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I did not marry a roomba.
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