they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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