Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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