dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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