i just had sex bonerless
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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