OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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