we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
