i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it was like eating out sand paper
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
