I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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