There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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