Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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