I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
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