Non-Jews are for practice
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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