We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
