Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
