I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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