I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
