this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
