Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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