My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
