I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
sex in a hospital.. check
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
