i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
