How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
