I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
