This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize