cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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