First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
