Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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