Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
