did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
