His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
