I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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