These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
