Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
