yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
