You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
