i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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