I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
