just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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