I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How external is "for external use only"?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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