im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
