That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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