Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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