Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
