My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
