Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize