evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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